“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.” ― Karl Lagerfeld

Stop Sacrificing - Self Care

             Do you feel you often put others needs before your own? Do you often put off the most important things on YOUR to do list that are actually meant for you? According to Abraham Maslow in order to experience the need of love and belonging we must first care for our basic physiological needs and safety. I am going to take this one step further…. If you  are a helping professional working with those with in need – you too must take care of your own needs by meeting with a therapist, life coach, mentor, or support team to ensure you are in the proper mind set to help others.
When you board an airplane and the flight attendant reviews the safety protocol about how to put on the oxygen mask, they state to secure your mask to your face before trying to help others. This is because if you run out of oxygen and die you are of no help to anyone around you. The same can be said that if you are sleep deprived, starving, freezing, etc. you are of no help to others because your own physiological needs are taking all of your focus. Often when a person is not having their basic needs met they lash out at others without even realizing it.
This is a very simple message explained in every flight, every day across the world because if you do not first put on your oxygen mask, you may not live long enough to help those around you.  And yet, most humans continue to care for others at the expense of their own health and wellbeing. One of the main concepts in being an effective helper of others is to first take care of yourself.
According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, we must take care of our physiological needs such as breathing, food, drink, sleep, sex, excretion is largely (and obviously) biological and physical requirement before being able to move to a place of safety and belongingness.  When out basic needs are not fulfilled, people become preoccupied with filling those needs above all else. For example, starving people in a war zone can be oblivious to danger when in search of food (Maslow, 1987, pp. 15-17).
We must always start first with the basic needs. The pursuit of happiness cannot start when we are tired, hungry, or physically ill. We must take care of our basic needs first. More food, sleep, sex, or bigger shelter does not mean that we become happier.
Sometimes people will say that they feel selfish to take care of themselves when others are in need. This is often because if we do not care for others, we judge ourselves and we fear others will judge us as well. When we put others first we feel selfless, but we cannot be selfless for long without caring for ourselves.  
If you are a person who works in a helping profession, such as a counselor, social worker, teacher, nurse, etc.  or if you just like helping others out. Remember that the key to helping others is to first care for your own issues, feed your soul, and then pour out your light onto others. Helping others can be very challenging, and yet very rewarding.

Author

David Rawlins MA, LPC, ACS
​Therapist, Clinical Supervisor and Adjunct Faculty Instructor